rooted, but still growing

Archive for October 2008

Sometimes you just have to do it — face the demons and get it over with. 

I was able to do that this weekend. Family, home, and the knowledge that there have been just a many wonderful memories made in the past four years as ever before have proven to be the best remedies, as well as a long, beautiful Sunday drive with the one I love. I feel better and have gained perspective. 

It’s all for good.


Just before my Grandma passed away in 2005 from ovarian cancer, she told her sons and daughters that she wanted our family to always stay in touch. She worried that without her, we would lose the connections we had to each other.

I think she underestimated the love we have for one another. We’ve actually grown closer over the years, and our bond became stronger a few months ago when my cousin Wendy set up a family web site. It’s been so wonderful logging into my e-mail every day to discover a new message from someone two, three or more states away saying happy birthday, updating on their lives or just saying hello. I’m proud to be part of a group of people who, although many of us lead very different lives, genuinely care for each other. Not many families can say that about themselves.

My mom is visiting on Saturday, and we’re planning to take a drive to a Christmas craft festival a few hours from here. We’re also meeting up with some of my aunts and cousins who live not too far from the event. I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to this. I haven’t seen most of these people in more than a year, and I can’t wait to hang out, laugh and be crazy.

I’ve been in sort of a funk since last week. It’s kind of complicated, and more than a little silly, but it’s there and I just have to wait it out. It’s basically a mixture of getting older/mourning my youth, missing my hometown and my best friends, and some regrets about a relationship that didn’t work out (though it’s totally for the better that it didn’t). And while autumn is my favorite season, I think the shorter days and cooler temperatures are part of the reason I’m feeling blue. 

That I’m feeling blue at all is simply ridiculous. I’ve never been happier. I love my life — I love Steve, I love our house, I love my job. Things are so good right now it’s downright scary. I have so much to look forward to — my wedding, having children, finishing my master’s degree and on and on.

I’m so blessed. I just have to ride it out.

There are places I remember

All my life, though some have changed

Some forever, not for better

Some are gone, and some remain

All these places have their moments

Of lovers and friends I still can recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life I loved them all


And with all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new

And I know I’ll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I’ll often stop and think about them

In my life I’ve loved you more

So the only good thing about me cracking and scraping my knees on the sidewalk at work today as I was carrying a box to take to UPS was that the UPS guy was H-O-T.

Oh, and no one saw me fall. Bonus.

For the second time in as many visits to this particular Mexican restaurant, my waiter has given me a styrofoam to-go cup.

Ah, but not just any styrofoam to-go cups. Special styrofoam to-go-cups. With lips and a hairy tongue drawn on the side in black ink.

I’m really not sure what this means.

I wish I could take credit for that title, but I stole it from a commenter on this CNN article in which Al Gore encourages young people to protest against new coal-fired power plants that don’t use carbon capture and storage technology.

This man seriously makes me twitch — and not in a good way. I’ll admit to voting for him back in 2000 because for realz, he couldn’t have been a worse president than the guy who cheated — erm, beat him — in that election. And despite my sincere belief that we should all do our parts to make this planet cleaner and healthier, I just can’t buy into Gore’s global warming rhetoric. Let us not forget that this man is a politician. Since when do people in this country throw their trust into a politician?

Do we need to do something about sustaining and protecting this planet? Yeeesssssssss. But the right way is not through scare tactics and unrealistic demands. Gore claims that the technology that could help this country switch from a dependence on coal-generated electricity to renewable energy already exists. Ok, then, where is it? What’s the delay?

I’m inclined to think that if the technology existed in the magnitude Gore insists it is, that someone, somewhere would be taking advantage of the huge revenue potential it creates. Everybody’s “going green,” so I think it’s probably safe to assume that there would be a tremendous market for renewable energy. So far I haven’t seen it. Sure, there are many people and companies who are working toward energy self-sufficiency and reducing their carbon emissions. Many manufacturing companies are developing ways to turn their own waste into energy to run their plants. The coal-fired plant that generates power for the electric company I work for is well on its way to becoming one of the cleanest in the world. And tons of ordinary citizens are examining ways to conserve energy and make their homes and lives more efficient.

But for some reason that isn’t enough for Al Gore. He wants an instant change, and he wants those who do not comply to be immediately punished. Do you know what will happen if power companies are forced to reduce their carbon emissions within unrealistic time frames? Our electric bills will increase, that’s what. They’re going to pass that cost onto us, the consumers. The air we breathe will be pristine, great! But we won’t be around to enjoy it because we’ll all freeze and starve to death because we won’t be able to afford food or heat.  

Al, Al, Al. Perhaps your urges would be taken more seriously if you didn’t personally use enough energy to power a residential block in my hometown. Or if you donated some of your millions toward helping our country reduce carbon emissions. What are you doing will all the money you’re collecting on your travels around this doomed world? Are you investing it in clean-coal technology? Are you contributing toward research on how to store wind and solar power? Do you plan to assist Americans in paying their energy bills when your plan forces costs to skyrocket?

Mr. Gore, I’ll continue to recycle my aluminum cans and use compact fluorescent light bulbs. I’ll turn off lights when I leave the room, shut my computer down at night and only drive my car when necessary. But only because it’s the right thing to do for my planet and my checkbook.

Not because you told me to.