rooted, but still growing

Archive for December 2007

Despite all indications, I haven’t disappeared from the world. Quite the contrary … it’s  just that there have been many things occurring all at once that have captured all of my time and attention.

I’m thankful to report that all of these time- and attention-stealers have been good. Very good, indeed. Remember how my job situation had been touch-and-go, with me thinking things were going to be good one minute, then not so good the next? I was sort of in the process of receiving a promotion, but the process kept dragging on and on, so much so that I’d turned my focus to finding employment elsewhere. Imagine my surprise Wednesday morning when my bosses formally offer me the job.

Yay!

My title wavers between inside sales manager and marketing manager. I have my own office, a kick-ass staff that always reaches its goals, and bosses who each have had this job before and will help me during this transition. But the best part? I received a raise. For the first time in my adult life, I will know what it is like to keep more money from my paychecks than I spend paying bills. This is huge for me. I’ve spent the past three days in a wonderland, marveling at how beautiful life is when you don’t spend your days worrying about how you’re going to make your payments or afford Christmas gifts. As of this week, when I need something or want something, I can go get it. If I need a new pair of jeans, I can buy them. If I want to get Steve a gift “just because,” I can do it. I can travel to see my friends without having to borrow gas money. I can treat my mom to lunch. I can finally begin saving for the future. Such simple things, and yet I feel so liberated. There are days when a person feels entirely and undeservedly blessed. This is one of those times and I’m going to enjoy it as long as I can. Thank the good Lord in heaven.

We’ve reached the home stretch in regards to Christmas. I finished wrapping all the gifts for N, K1 and K2. There are now three giant boxes awaiting transport to FedEx tomorrow after Steve takes care of a few last-minute details. I’m so excited for the boys to receive these gifts. I know we went overboard, but it’s important to me that they all have a wonderful Christmas. I just wish we could be there to see their faces when they receive those boxes, and when they open the packages.

I still have a good bit of wrapping to do, and some shopping for Steve. I’ve gotten him several things so far, some he knows about and others he doesn’t. I’m pretty much down to the stocking stuffers and maybe a few small things. I’m really excited about one gift in particular … it’s something I think he’ll really love. I’m having a difficult time waiting until Christmas day to let him have it, but it’s important to me that he has a Christmas surprise. I know we’re both adults and don’t require all the Christmas-morning fuss, but I like to preserve that tradition. I want our first Christmas together to be special.

I have no idea what Santa has in store for me this year … although I can’t really expect much. I’ve already received my beautiful engagement ring, plus a pair of adorable FatBaby boots, among other treasures. I can’t really even say what I want … there is nothing I can’t live without, and my life is so good right now asking for anything just seems selfish.

But that won’t keep me from wishing for a fantastic January!

Hello again, world. So the one post per day during November thing didn’t work out so well for me. I have an excuse — several of them, actually: I’ve been busy, I’ve been stressed, I’ve been sick, and I’ve been lazy. If you’re not satisfied with any of these, make something up.

November 2007 was certainly an interesting month. Things were stressful at work, and I’m still not certain my situation is going to improve all that much. The good news is I’m working on it, things are getting better (if only bit by bit) and my attitude about it has improved. I think the attitude is the most important factor and, thankfully, is the one thing I can control.

Also in November, my health decided to get a head start on the reindeer games. I’ve always been what you would call an emotional (I hate that word!) person. Things affect me more than they do the average person … sad things, happy things, bad things, good things. For the most part, it was just me being me — I can’t help how I’m wired. But in the past few months, the mood swings became worse and more frequent to a point where I was unable to function normally. It was affecting how I felt, how I saw myself, how I performed at work, and my relationships with the people I love most. I didn’t want to die or anything, but I just was not enjoying life. So I visited my doctor, was placed on a medication to help control the hormonal roller coaster, and have been feeling much, much better ever since.

The month ended well. Super well, in fact: On Nov. 29, 2007, Steve asked me to marry him.

(Insert excited screaming here)

It’s a cute story. See, we talked about the idea of marriage a couple of times. I pretty  much knew a ring would be coming sometime before or during Christmas. What I didn’t know was that I would end up having to sign for it when the mailman delivered the package, nor that Steve would end up proposing the same night. We had gone to dinner with his boss and a few visiting staff members and came home later that evening to catch up on homework and relax. We were just hanging out, watching television when he asked if I wanted to have my “present” right then. Of course I did (!)  but said only if he wanted to give it me. He asked me to follow him into the garage, where the ring was hidden in compartment beneath his four-wheeler. He simply got it out, slipped it on my hand and asked the question. I was so excited I couldn’t see straight, and I didn’t know what to do first — jump up and down, cry, scream, laugh, look at the ring or kiss him. So I did it all at once!

It’s the most gorgeous ring I’ve ever seen … a 1.04 carat oval-cut diamond solitaire set in a sparkling band of 14 karat white gold. I’ve had so much fun telling my friends and family … and there are still folks to tell, and those who haven’t yet seen the ring. Oh, the fun!

We haven’t set a date, but we’re thinking the wedding will be sometime in the spring of 2009. We want to pay down some debt, find a house, and save enough money to ensure the wedding is really, really special. Part of me can’t stand the thought of waiting more than a year to get married, but I know in my heart this is the right thing to do. I only plan on getting married once and I want to make sure it’s exactly what we want.

I’m so, so happy. Steve and I have been together two and a half years, and that time has seen some difficult moments. I don’t know how we’ve weathered most of it — I suppose it’s just that we love each other enough to know that we’ll do just about anything to make it work. Despite the odds, and because of the odds, I know without a doubt that I am making the right decision. Steve is everything I ever could have dreamed of. He supports me, inspires me and challenges me in a way no one else ever has. Most of all, he loves me even when I’m most unlovable. I simply couldn’t ask for more, or a better person to spend the rest of my life with.

Here’s hoping for a GREAT December!